Networking at Events Like James Bond: Look, Listen, Leverage

In the overpopulated digital space, conferences are proving to be the place for real and lasting business connections. We are wired to be a part of a tribe. Facebook and social media are movie screen substitutes for connections, but nothing can replace looking someone in the eye, shaking their hand, and breathing the same air. And since we spend the majority of our time commanding screens, the skill of commanding a room is slowly slipping away. Since we spend so much time commanding screens, the skill of commanding a room is slipping [...]

2018-09-09T21:20:28+00:00 Body Language, Networking, Observe|

Proof You’re On the Path to Influence (or Not): Conversational Signs Your Influence Is Working

In a previous post, I talked about the difference between communicating and influencing. Influence means that a goal is attached to your conversation. While you are in the conversation, you look for evidence to gauge if you’re being influential or not. by CPOA I’d say that the process of actively looking for evidence – the Observe section of all of my programs – has been very eye opening for clients and audiences.  Crafting a beautiful argument is one thing. Seeing that argument “land” is another. You can tell if you’re on the [...]

Gather Influential Evidence Like Sherlock Holmes (and The Mistake That Harms Influence)

One of the first lessons I talk about in all of my training programs – live and online – is the concept of observing without judgement. by JV@NYC At first glance, this may feel like a duh kind of moment. Everyone feels like they get the concept right away. They nod their heads in easy agreement. However, in one-on-one sessions or in group calls, clients realize that the ability to observe without judgement takes a little more effort and awareness than they initially thought. A perfect example of this came up recently. [...]

2014-08-20T18:30:57+00:00 Influence, Observe|

Traveling Through Influential Communication

When people are first introduced to this world of influential communication, they naturally feel overwhelmed at first. There are many moving pieces - body language, techniques, profiling, strategies, etc.  It’s like opening up a watch and seeing all the gears at once for the first time. Which gear does what? What happens first? What connects to what? With a little extra inspection, the complexity actually becomes very simple. There is a method, a pattern, that creates the clear result. Getting through that first stage of “Whoa!” is all it takes. I often equate learning [...]

Why Extroverts Need to Tone It Down: Lessons from Introverts

Just wanted to let you guys know that I have a new article up at Entrepreneur.com called "Tone it Down: 5 Introverted Lessons for Extroverts." I hope you enjoy it. Within 1 hour of it being published, it become the #1 Top Story on the site! (And as I'm writing this, it still is the top story.)  Many people assume that I'm a natural extrovert, but truth be told I'm an extroverted introvert. (It even says so on my Twitter profile, so it must be true.) I have very strong introverted tendencies. I love to [...]

3 Ways to Leverage Chit Chat

3 Ways to Leverage Chit Chat  As a woman from the midwest, I consider myself a straight-shooter. I value honesty and candor. If you have bad news, pull the band-aid off quickly. If you need something from me, cut to the chase. Direct conversation is a direct line to earning my respect. So, it makes sense that idle chit chat isn’t in my wheelhouse. Pandering conversation can get irritating, especially when it’s coated with artificial sweeteners. Even the phrase “chit chat” feels like a fly landing in your ear. Now, I’m not saying that I [...]

2014-01-07T15:59:32+00:00 Communication Skills, Observe|

Observation and Communication Can Be A Spiritual Experience

  Observation and Communication Can Be A Spiritual Experience I have always felt strong ties between my study of communication and my study of self or spirit. I meditate every morning to help me be present and grounded. In order to communicate effectively with the people around me, I must be fully present with them and not distracted by what I want to say next. I've never shared these similarities before on my blog, until now. I recently met Dandapani, a Hindu monk turned entrepreneur. After seeing him speak at an event and having [...]

2014-01-07T16:02:15+00:00 Observe|

People Watching for Fun and Profits

People Watching for Fun and Profits Consciousness needs something to contemplate. When the mind wanders, it must land somewhere. The mind cannot be aimless for long. In our era of smartphones, tablets, and laptops, our default distraction is inevitably the internet. Boredom can so easily target a screen. We scroll through feeds, check inboxes, and give a thumbs up to posts, tweets, and videos. But what do we miss when our awareness is limited to the four corners of our phones? Is social media distracting us from other opportunities? Is the glow of the screen blinding us [...]

2014-01-07T16:06:26+00:00 Body Language, Observe|