Become Your Most Influential Self! Don’t miss another update with a persuasive technique you can use today Let’s just agree right away that people don’t like to tell you things… especially if they believe the information is sensitive. If divulging something could be embarrassing or put them at a disadvantage, they are definitely not telling you squat. You see this all the time in business. Want to know what someone’s budget is? Good luck. They don’t want to tell you because they’re hoping that they can get you to bid under-budget and they can save money. Want to know how someone feels about their boss? They’re probably going to play it close to the vest because they don’t know if you’re going to blab it to someone else. Want to learn competitor’s marketing secrets? Yeah, ok. I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to show you how to take their customers away from them. People don’t like to tell you things, especially the stuff you really want to know. But, that’s no reason to stop you from getting the information now is it? Of course not! […]
What does an Influential Team look like? As you probably know, my work and the writings of this blog are all about closing the gap between the world’s best influencers and entrepreneurial leaders. And, there has been one key element that I have yet to share with you – one thing that the best influencers have that entrepreneurial leaders don’t know about and struggle finding. I’ve regularly talked about how to be influential, you need to observe your mark to find your influential hooks. I’ve even created an Influential Profiling Tool to help you with your observations. The idea behind the tool was sparked from my interviews with CIA operatives. When an agent is given the mission to turn an asset, they spend weeks, even months, just observing the mark and building a dossier on them – their likes, dislikes, the people they interact with, their weekly habits, the types of clothes they wear, … you name it. The profiler tool is a condensed version for us “normal folk” to help identify your mark’s influential psychology. But what I haven’t explained in more detail is how the agent utilizes their dossier. […]
Why are we so drawn to the con-artists in film and television? The true story of Catch Me If You Can had us in awe at Frank Abignale’s ability to become anyone – from an airline pilot to a doctor to a lawyer. And who didn’t fall in love with Robert Redford and Paul Newman in The Sting? The catchy tune alone has you hooked. The show Leverage gives us the full variety of con-artist archetypes – the mastermind, the grifter, the thief, the muscle, and the hacker. These Hollywood versions of con-artists are compelling, romantic, and a bit inspiring. We watch these Robin Hood-esque heroes pull off impressive feats by using their wits, intelligent planning, and adaptability. We daydream about having equally convincing cunning. Of course, the real-life versions of the folklore is less glamorous. Con-artists are usually forged in difficult and dangerous upbringings. Their charm is a survival technique that turns into a delinquent asset. And any glamorous lifestyle they might accumulate dissolves when they take their mugshot. For example, a career con-artist’s reign recently ended with a new orange jumpsuit. William Douglas Street has been called “The Great Imposter.” Living a life in a Catch Me If You Can style, Street impersonated individuals from a dry cleaner to a Major League baseball player. He was convincing, but for all the wrong motives. With that said, there is no denying that a con-artist’s skills are highly valuable. If you take away the schemes, lies, [...]
I’m so happy to share this interview I did with Dr. Isaac Jones from Superhuman Entrepreneur on how to be influential. We talk about EVERYTHING – body language, observational skills, elicitation, influential techniques, and so much more! You can check out the interview on his page with the show notes and other download options, or listen in here: […]
In the overpopulated digital space, conferences are proving to be the place for real and lasting business connections. We are wired to be a part of a tribe. Facebook and social media are movie screen substitutes for connections, but nothing can replace looking someone in the eye, shaking their hand, and breathing the same air. And since we spend the majority of our time commanding screens, the skill of commanding a room is slowly slipping away. Since we spend so much time commanding screens, the skill of commanding a room is slipping away. Which means, the value of people who can successfully network has increased exponentially. […]
In a previous post, I talked about the difference between communicating and influencing. Influence means that a goal is attached to your conversation. While you are in the conversation, you look for evidence to gauge if you’re being influential or not. by CPOA I’d say that the process of actively looking for evidence – the Observe section of all of my programs – has been very eye opening for clients and audiences. Crafting a beautiful argument is one thing. Seeing that argument “land” is another. You can tell if you’re on the path to influence long before you get compliance. Did their body language give any clues? Did you find the right triggers? Are they changing their point of view? Studies have shown that people will regularly rate themselves higher in communication proficiency than everyone else. (Which means that everyone else thinks they are a better communicator than you.) I believe that this perspective keeps many people from being truly influential. If you know to focus on specific clues, you are more likely to see the conversation’s relevant components, instead of being stuck in the mindset of “I’m a good communicator and making perfect sense right now. If they don’t get it, it’s their fault.” Does the evidence support your assumption? […]
One of the first lessons I talk about in all of my training programs – live and online – is the concept of observing without judgement. by JV@NYC At first glance, this may feel like a duh kind of moment. Everyone feels like they get the concept right away. They nod their heads in easy agreement. However, in one-on-one sessions or in group calls, clients realize that the ability to observe without judgement takes a little more effort and awareness than they initially thought. A perfect example of this came up recently. One of my clients had an important meeting scheduled with their boss. This meeting was the beginning of an important organizational change. My client wanted to make sure that they were considered as a “key player” for what was on the horizon. I asked my client to send me a description of their boss. They had been through my Building Personal Influence course, so they sent me a rough sketch of the supervisor’s profile, keywords, identifiers, and other insights – the kinds of influential evidence. My client, also went above and beyond by asking a trusted associate to write out some of their thoughts about the boss. The two different perspectives highlighted a very important lesson. […]
Learn effective communication, the artist's way. Inspired by Pixar's president, Sharí Alexander compares the similarities between artists and influencers.
When people are first introduced to this world of influential communication, they naturally feel overwhelmed at first. There are many moving pieces - body language, techniques, profiling, strategies, etc. It’s like opening up a watch and seeing all the gears at once for the first time. Which gear does what? What happens first? What connects to what? With a little extra inspection, the complexity actually becomes very simple. There is a method, a pattern, that creates the clear result. Getting through that first stage of “Whoa!” is all it takes. I often equate learning influential communication to my first time in Los Angeles. I rented a car and was on my way to meet a friend at Chipotle for lunch on Ventura Boulevard. I don’t know if I have ever felt more homicidal in my life. One moron in front of me was driving in two lanes, moving slower that the old man using his scooter on the sidewalk. Shouting every obscenity I could - within the safe confines of my car - the driver behind me was doing the same blaming me for the slow pace while letting his horn do some of the talking as well. “There’s nothing I can do!” Screaming and gesturing with every ounce of my Italian blood, “It’s not my fault, so shut the hell up!” Welcome to Los Angeles. I was visiting LA to test the waters and make sure that I wanted to live here. This moment definitely went in the “con” side [...]
Just wanted to let you guys know that I have a new article up at Entrepreneur.com called "Tone it Down: 5 Introverted Lessons for Extroverts." I hope you enjoy it. Within 1 hour of it being published, it become the #1 Top Story on the site! (And as I'm writing this, it still is the top story.) Many people assume that I'm a natural extrovert, but truth be told I'm an extroverted introvert. (It even says so on my Twitter profile, so it must be true.) I have very strong introverted tendencies. I love to stay home. I love to be the quiet one in group settings. In fact, many of the lessons I teach in my e-books and speeches about observation have to do with tapping into your introverted side. I hope you takeaway a few tips from the article, and please share it on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn if you!