How to Be Influential Without Words

Did you know you can be influential without even speaking? Sometimes your most influential decisions have nothing to do with what you’re saying. Yes, words are an important factor of influence, but sometimes you’ll want to turn your focus from the message and direct it to the messenger. If you want to really step-up your influence game, then now is the time to start paying attention to your state. Let’s start by defining state, then we'll talk about the different circumstances in which your state can enhance your influential conversations. What is State? I was introduced to the concept of state in my 20’s while reading Tony Robbins’ books. No matter if you like, love, or hate Tony, understanding the utility of state can become your new favorite “Aha!” lesson for life. Essentially, state is the connection between your physical and emotional being. Meaning, your physical state can trigger emotions and your emotions can trigger your physical state. The understanding and utilization of state give you: Control in stressful situations, More choices when you’re feeling reactionary, Access to helpful thought patterns (again, rather than being reactionary) Leadership capabilities Here’s an example. Many of my clients want to feel more confident while speaking, either at conferences or while giving a presentation in a boardroom. Of course, you can’t just say to yourself, “Be confident,” over and over again. In fact, doing so is actually going to make you stress out more. Which means, you can’t talk yourself into feelings, [...]

2 Steps to Letting Go of What Other People Think

All my life, I’ve had this fear in the back of my mind. I’ve struggled with it, made my peace with it, and then looped back to wrestling with it once again. I don’t know if I’m normal or if I’m different, but I’ve always been afraid of people knowing this about me. So, of course, the rational thing to do is to post a blog about it on the internet where it will remain forever. Brilliant. And so, I’m about to reveal a potentially embarrassing fact about myself because I believe that through this you will learn something about you. You might see how you’ve experienced a similar struggle in your life or possibly in your business. Let’s begin. The genesis of this blog post begins when I was on the phone with a dear friend. It had been months since we’d spoken to one another. She has a one-year-old who, when he was born, experienced some trauma. He spent the first few months of his existence in the hospital. After he was cleared to go home, they have had regular doctors’ visits and in-home therapy sessions. Not to mention all the normal work that goes into raising a human being - sleepless nights, breastfeeding, and endless diaper changing. So, the gaps in between our girl-talk time is completely understandable. The great thing is that whenever we do talk, we always have amazing “a-ha!” moments together. With she and I, there is no surface level. We always get to [...]

My 3 Step Pre-Stage Routine

Become Your Most Influential Self! Don't miss another update with a persuasive technique you can use today   I’ve been a professional speaker since I was 23. Before then, I was a stage actress from 14 years old all the way through college. When people learn what I do for a living and find out how long I’ve had my “stage time,” they usually draw the conclusion, “Oh, so you probably don’t get nervous when you have to speak because you’ve been doing it so long.” Not true. I still feel nervous. And not just before I step on stage. I feel nervous before a webinar, before a coaching call, and before sales calls as well. So, basically, I’m nervous 50% of the time when I’m on the job. As the saying goes, “You can’t get rid of the butterflies in your stomach; just get them to fly in formation.” Fear is a constant. It never goes away. But, you can harness it. One of the best lessons I learned about fear came from the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. She says that fear will always be on your journey. You should welcome fear and let it be a backseat passenger, but it should never be allowed to drive the car. Over the years, I’ve developed a simple pre-stage routine to manage my fears right when I need to be amazing. Body Over Mind Most people mistakenly believe they can think their way out of [...]