How to Be Influential Without Words

Did you know you can be influential without even speaking? Sometimes your most influential decisions have nothing to do with what you’re saying. Yes, words are an important factor of influence, but sometimes you’ll want to turn your focus from the message and direct it to the messenger. If you want to really step-up your influence game, then now is the time to start paying attention to your state. Let’s start by defining state, then we'll talk about the different circumstances in which your state can enhance your influential conversations. What is State? I was introduced to the concept of state in my 20’s while reading Tony Robbins’ books. No matter if you like, love, or hate Tony, understanding the utility of state can become your new favorite “Aha!” lesson for life. Essentially, state is the connection between your physical and emotional being. Meaning, your physical state can trigger emotions and your emotions can trigger your physical state. The understanding and utilization of state give you: Control in stressful situations, More choices when you’re feeling reactionary, Access to helpful thought patterns (again, rather than being reactionary) Leadership capabilities Here’s an example. Many of my clients want to feel more confident while speaking, either at conferences or while giving a presentation in a boardroom. Of course, you can’t just say to yourself, “Be confident,” over and over again. In fact, doing so is actually going to make you stress out more. Which means, you can’t talk yourself into feelings, [...]

To Be More Influential, Answer This Question First

Influence is something that we all want (and need) – especially in business. Influence makes you be a better leader, helps you team up with investors and customers, and gives you an authentic voice in your marketing. Influence is a skill that every entrepreneur should master. Influence is a skill that every entrepreneur should master. And yet, there is one major mistake most people make when they want to be influential: people worry too much about what they should say. I know. This sounds counterintuitive, but read on and you’ll find out why your persuasive efforts haven’t been working as well as you’d like. Yes, what you say and how you say it is a component of influence, but that is just the tip of the iceberg. Meaning, what someone says is usually what most people attribute to influence because that’s the only part of the process that they see and hear.  The real process of being influential is knowing how to figure out what to say for each person or group you speak to. After interviewing the world’s best influencers - including CIA field operatives, hostage negotiators, con-artists, and more - their first concern is never, “What should I say?” Instead, their first question is always, “What do I need to know?” When you need to deliver a speech, pitch investors, or sit down for a sales meeting if you are asking yourself, “What should I say?” you have sabotaged your efforts before they even started, and without realizing [...]

My 3 Step Pre-Stage Routine

Become Your Most Influential Self! Don't miss another update with a persuasive technique you can use today   I’ve been a professional speaker since I was 23. Before then, I was a stage actress from 14 years old all the way through college. When people learn what I do for a living and find out how long I’ve had my “stage time,” they usually draw the conclusion, “Oh, so you probably don’t get nervous when you have to speak because you’ve been doing it so long.” Not true. I still feel nervous. And not just before I step on stage. I feel nervous before a webinar, before a coaching call, and before sales calls as well. So, basically, I’m nervous 50% of the time when I’m on the job. As the saying goes, “You can’t get rid of the butterflies in your stomach; just get them to fly in formation.” Fear is a constant. It never goes away. But, you can harness it. One of the best lessons I learned about fear came from the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. She says that fear will always be on your journey. You should welcome fear and let it be a backseat passenger, but it should never be allowed to drive the car. Over the years, I’ve developed a simple pre-stage routine to manage my fears right when I need to be amazing. Body Over Mind Most people mistakenly believe they can think their way out of [...]

Observe Connect Influence – Sharí Alexander – Keynote Speech

Watch Sharí Alexander Below is one of Sharí's keynote speeches: Observe Connect Influence You will learn: How to have the mindset of an influencer How to pick up on Influential V.I.B.E.S. Lessons from CIA agents, hostage negotiators, con-artists, and pick-up artists...along with techniques that you can use in daily life To learn more about Sharí's programs by downloading her Speaker Kit here. Are you interesting in bringing Sharí to your event for a speech or workshop? Click here.

Why You Should Flip Your Speech Upside-Down

Flip Your Speech Upside-down You like to talk about yourself. It’s okay. Everyone love to. We’re just wired that way. Besides, you’re a cool person with cool experiences, so why wouldn’t you?  Think about it. You have a microphone pointed at you with a roomful of people staring at you who have been told that you are the person to listen to. So naturally, you think – either consciously or unconsciously – since you have been given this platform and people have come to hear from you, then they must be interested in learning about you. It’s only natural to brush your shoulders off and let the awesomeness of you waft over. It’s a pretty cool feeling.  by Martin Fisch   And so, you open your speech with information about you – why you’re the person talking about this topic and how you got to be the head honcho on stage.  While I have no doubt that your credentials, background, and experiences are very interesting, this isn’t the best way to open your speech. Don’t worry! You will still be able to talk about yourself. That part has its rightful place…. a little later in your speech. Too many speakers start their speeches by talking about themselves, not the audience. […]

How to End A Speech … and Generate Opportunity

  by ISCTE Speaking in front of any group is stressful enough. Speaking with the added pressure to generate more business from that speech is another level of stress. One of my clients called me because he was facing that daunting situation. He was tasked with delivering a 30 minute speech to 150 financial industry colleagues. His audience was a mix of competitors and prospects. His company was sending him to the conference for PR and to drum up new client relationships. The pressure was on. He specifically had questions centered around how to end the presentation. I was very proud of him for “starting with the end in mind.” His goal was to have people who were interested in learning more about his topic to meet with him and his colleague after the presentation. Not a problem at all. But… Here is what typically happens in those scenarios. […]

Your Pressure Meeting Power Plan: How to prepare for critical moments

This is it. Everything you’ve worked for comes down to this one meeting. All of the phone calls, emails, marketing and preparation boils down to this question: Can you be influential in this one moment? No matter who you are, no matter how many times you have done it, nervousness creeps in. The best of the best know how to transform that nervous energy into excitement. But for those who don’t naturally feel pumped-up under pressure, it’s helpful to have your Pressure Meeting Power Plan. In her recent TED talk, Amy Cuddy shared how simple shifts in body language can improve your confidence and change your hormone levels. The basic conclusion is that taking on a “power pose” for just a few minutes makes you more confident and charismatic. When a lot is on the line for your upcoming meeting, you want to take this concept and run with it. Give yourself the extra boost you need. Don’t wait to do your power poses just 5 minutes before your meeting. Have your Pressure Meeting Power Plan for every stage that leads up to the big moment.  […]

High-Pressure Presentations: Diagnosing Michael Bay’s Performance Bust

High-Pressure Presentations: Diagnosing Michael Bay’s Performance Bust I rarely comment specifically on someone else’s speech, killer or bust. However, the Michael Bay video from CES has gone viral in a matter of moments and I’m already peeved by the surface-level commentary. Be warned: this blog post is not going to bash Mr. Bay nor will it say, “It’s okay. Don’t sweat it.” I want to give you a comprehensive view of the situation and share some insights that will help you for your next high-pressure presentations. First thing’s first, you have to watch the video to know what we’re talking about: Now, before anyone’s fangs start dripping venomous, judgmental comments, let us first take a moment to breathe and acknowledge that Mr. Bay is a fellow human being who experienced our deepest fear – dying on stage. And to boot, his moment happened on an international platform. He is not having a good day. And thanks to the internet, he’s probably not going to have a good day for a few weeks. So, tap into your empathetic center. Be thankful it wasn’t you. Does having empathy for the man make the situation okay? No. Here’s why. Samsung executives didn’t catch Michael Bay on the Vegas strip and say, “Hey! Mikey! You doin’ anything right now? No? Why don’t you pop into this conference and say a few words about our new product. It’ll be a rockin’ time!” This wasn’t a speaker practicing a speech at Toastmasters. This wasn’t a celebrity hired to [...]

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